Think of this as the ramblings of a foolish woman.
I am a 30-year-old woman with a husband.
This morning.
I woke up in a place that wasn't my home.
On a carpet, not a bed,
wrapped in a blanket.
I was completely naked.
My mind went blank.
Along with that, I was enveloped in a hangover headache and a sense of grogginess.
Last night was a late office year-end party.
I clearly remember up to the second party.
We went to karaoke for the third party, and after that, things became hazy.
Tracing faint memories, I went to a bar-like place with a few younger male colleagues...
There, their friends joined us.
I vaguely remembered.
It seemed like we went to one of those friends' houses last.
When I quietly got up,
there were indeed two colleagues and
two guys who seemed to be friends sleeping in the room.
Even in my daze, I felt a cold sweat.
Was I violated...?
However, no matter how drunk I was, if I had been assaulted, I would remember it.
I didn't remember even a little,
and there were no injuries on my body.
Anyway, I panicked.
I grabbed my clothes nearby and made my way to the entrance,
somehow managing to get dressed.
When I unlocked the door quietly,
I realized I didn't have my bag and went back to the room.
Though it was thrown on the floor,
there were no signs that its contents had been rummaged through.
One of the guys sleeping turned over,
and I hurriedly left the room.
Not knowing where I was,
I stopped by a convenience store and used the restroom.
There was a dull ache down there, not exactly pain,
so I fearfully touched it.
It's hard to describe, but
it was clearly the feeling after having sex...
My pubic hair was tangled,
and it still felt a bit slippery down there.
After all, with those colleagues...
Even if I wasn't violated,
I had sex while completely drunk and unconscious...
I was in a daze in the restroom for quite a long time.
Suddenly, the ringtone of my phone brought me back to reality.
I was a little scared.
If it was a colleague... what would they say...
The call was from my husband.
"I'm meeting a friend, so I'll be home late."
While relieved by my husband's usual voice,
guilt and fear surged within me.
At least until night, I wouldn't have to face my husband.
I felt too guilty to face him...
Somehow, I made it home and took a bath.
No matter what happened, I wanted to wash away that filth.
I collapsed into bed and fell asleep.
When I woke up and checked my phone,
there were two missed calls from that colleague...
My husband still hasn't returned.
I'll have to face that colleague on the 4th of January, whether I like it or not...
It seems like I'm going to have the worst New Year's.
It's a mistake from drinking too much,
and if you say it's my own fault, I can't argue.
But since getting married, I've never had sex with anyone other than my husband.
With one mistake, I've suffered a big wound.
There are still many things to worry about, but I'll stop here...
These are the regrets and reflections of a foolish woman.
