Around March, the cram school decided to go on a graduation trip to Disneyland.
At that time, I had just been dumped by my boyfriend, so I didn't really want to go.
But I didn't want my friend to be alone, and I thought it might be a good distraction, so I went.
Disneyland was fun enough, but there were a lot of couples, as expected.
I laughed in front of everyone, but when I was alone, I remembered various things and felt like crying.
I started to think that maybe I needed a bit of a push.
At night, at the hotel where we all stayed, a young teacher noticed that I wasn't feeling well and talked to me.
That teacher and I had always been close, and I often consulted with him.
At that time, I wanted him to listen to my complaints about my ex-boyfriend,
but since there were people around, I just groaned, saying "Hmm" and "Ah".
The teacher sensed my feelings and said, "Do you want to go somewhere we can be alone?"
(In hindsight, maybe it was different.)
I had always been attached to that teacher like an older brother,
so I felt a little happy to have the popular teacher all to myself.
He had a very good atmosphere,
so instead of venting my complaints, my true feelings and weaknesses naturally came out.
The teacher said various things, but I forgot them (am I heartless?).
I remember thinking that I was tired of my childish ex-boyfriend
and that I wished I had a boyfriend like the teacher.
At that time, we were sitting side by side in chairs, so I leaned on his shoulder a little.
The teacher also leaned towards me, and at that moment, I thought, "Oh, no."
I started to become aware of the teacher as a member of the opposite sex.
(My heart was pounding.)
"Teacher, won't you get in trouble if you don't go back soon?"
"Yeah, let's go back to the room."
We came to a slightly narrow place in front of the elevator.
Even though I had joked around and hugged him tightly before, I didn't feel anything,
but for some reason, my heart was pounding loudly.
"Ah, I wish I had been with him longer."
Even though I said it to distract myself,
I remembered my ex-boyfriend again and felt like crying.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm... okay, I guess."
At that moment, the teacher hugged me.
Honestly, I think the teacher could hear my heartbeat.
I could tell myself.
Or was it the teacher's heartbeat?
"Are you feeling a little calmer?"
"...Yeah."
I couldn't calm down at all. My voice even cracked.
The teacher's voice sounded very close, and I felt like I was going to lose it.
Oh no, oh no, oh no. Teacher, this is not okay.
Even though I thought that in my head, my body didn't resist at all.
Our bodies separated once, and our faces seemed to get a little closer,
but we naturally separated when we heard people's voices from afar.
"It's been a while since my heart raced like this."
The teacher said with a smile,
but I could only say, "...Yeah."
I returned to the room I shared with my friend and took a bath.
(The teacher probably did it to comfort me.)
I kept remembering the feeling of being hugged.
(There's no way he would be interested in a kid like me.)
What am I thinking? I'm just lonely and going with the flow.
I felt like I was going to get dizzy, so I got out of the bath early.
My friend, who had taken a bath earlier, was dozing off while watching TV.
"Hey! You said you wouldn't sleep today!"
"I'm just closing my eyes for a bit, see?"
What do you mean, see?
As I was feeling exasperated, the room phone rang.
"Hello?"
'Is this Emily?'
It was the teacher.
"Yes, it is."
'I'm calling about tomorrow's schedule.'
"Okay."
Of course, it's a call about the schedule.
I got a little hopeful for nothing.
As I took notes on the teacher's explanation, my feelings deflated.
"Is that all for the call?"
'...That's all, but...
Sorry about earlier, did you not like it?'
"I..."
It caught me off guard, and I stammered.
'Hmm?'
"I was happy, but... you shouldn't do that."
'Yeah, I'm sorry, I know.'
My friend was sleeping soundly.
I sent a mental message for her to stay asleep.
"But, what?"
'What about your roommate?'
(Oh, he dodged the question.)
"She's already asleep."
'I feel lonely.'
"I'm lonely too!"
'I'm lonely in my room by myself too.'
"I see. Well, good night."
'You're so cold. Good night. Don't oversleep.'
After hanging up the phone, I started looking for the paper with everyone's room assignments, wondering which room the teacher was in.
Why am I doing this? He'll definitely tell me to go back if I go.
But I want to feel the sensation of being hugged again.
He might find it annoying. But I want to see the teacher.
(Room 2031...)
It was 12 o'clock. Everyone was probably still awake. I had to make sure I wasn't seen.
I put my ear to the door to check that no one was in the hallway, then left the room.
I ran down the long hallway, got frustrated with the slow elevator,
and by the time I reached the teacher's room, I was out of breath.
Knock, knock.
When I knocked on the door, it opened quickly.
"That was fast! Were you expecting someone?"
"No, uh, I mean, what's wrong?"
"Sorry, I don't know."
"..."
"If someone is coming, I'll go back."
"It's fine. Come in quickly before someone sees you."
The teacher sometimes had a gentle expression that felt like "dear".
He had that expression now, so I felt a little relieved and wanted to hug him.
I hugged him tightly from behind as he walked into the room.
Or maybe I bumped into him a little.
"Em...ily"
"Teacher, hug me again."
The teacher turned around.
"Sorry, go back."
"...Why?"
"Because it's not okay. Really. Sorry."
Let's get out of this room quickly.
I shouldn't trouble the teacher.
"No."
Even though I understood in my head, I couldn't do it.
"Just once, please. If you hug me, I'll go back right away. Please."
The teacher pulled my arm strongly and hugged me.
It wasn't the gentle hug from before.
It was strong and painful.
"Teach...er..."
He kissed my neck repeatedly.
"...Teacher..."
He pushed me down onto the bed.
Our lips touched. It was completely different from the cute kisses I had with my boyfriend.
His tongue entered my mouth and intertwined with mine.
A warm sensation. My brain felt numb.
"Teacher, no..."
"That's why I said it's not okay..."
As we repeated deep kisses, my consciousness became hazy, and his hand slipped into my clothes.
Before his hand reached my chest, he stopped.
"No, it's not okay. Let's stop. You're going back, right? Go back."
Before he could pull his hand out of my clothes, I grabbed it and pressed it against my chest.
"Teacher, you're getting bigger."
I said while looking at his lower body.
I can't believe I said such an embarrassing line.
It might be normal for lovers who have had sex many times,
but I was a 15-year-old who had never even seen a man's genitals.
I was a little desperate. I wanted him to touch me.
"I want you to touch me more. Is that okay?"
The teacher silently started to massage my chest with both hands.
When he flicked my nipples with his fingers, I let out a surprisingly lewd voice.
"Ah, ah..."
The teacher shifted his body and started sucking on my nipples.
As he licked and buried his face in them, I noticed his body getting hotter.
Being the object of his excitement was embarrassing, but more than that, it made me happy.
"Teacher, it feels good..."
"Emily, you're cute..."
He kissed my cheek, and I couldn't help but laugh.
His hand slipped into my pants.
My body tensed up a little, but I calmed down when the teacher patted my head.
"Ah, ah."
"You're so wet."
"...I'm sorry..."
I didn't know how to react, so I apologized,
but the teacher looked happy and said, "You're cute."
He gently stimulated my clitoris with his slippery fingers, and my body started to react.
"...Ah..."
I could feel myself getting wetter and wetter.
"Does it feel good here?"
"Yeah, it feels good..."
Just when I was about to reach the peak, the teacher stopped and took off all my pants and underwear.
"No, don't look..."
"Why? It's cute. Let me see."
He moved my hands away and stared at it.
"It's overflowing. Are you excited because I'm looking?"
"Teacher, no..."
"Sorry, but you're cute."
The teacher brought his face close and licked from my anus to my clitoris.
"Ah!"
"Teacher, don't, it's dirty."
The teacher silently licked.
He sucked on my clitoris and licked up the fluids that were overflowing.
"Ah..."
"Tell me if it hurts."
He said as he slowly inserted his finger inside me. The pressure and pleasure filled me.
When he added a second finger, it hurt, but it soon felt good.
The teacher pulled out his fingers and took off his clothes.
I was surprised to see a man's genitals for the first time and worried if it would really fit inside.
"Don't stare too much..."
"But you looked at mine."
"It's okay for me."
"What is that!"
When I raised my voice, the teacher shushed me and kissed me.
He whispered in my ear,
"I'm going to put it in..."
"Ah, it hurts! Wait, wait, wait!"
I sat up and had him pull out.
Or rather, it wasn't in at all.
It really hurt too much.
"...Should we stop?"
It hurt too much, but still.
I lay down again and shook my head.
"I'll put it in slowly. Don't push yourself, okay?"
"Yeah."
This time, I tried to relax as much as possible.
He took his time, entering little by little.
"Ah... Teacher..."
"It's all in..."
The teacher started moving slowly.
With each thrust, a great pleasure hit below my navel.
"Ah, ah!"
"Here?"
He repeatedly hit the spot that felt good.
"Yeah..."
"Oh, no..."
He started moving faster.
"Ah, ah..."
"I'm going to come...! Ah...!"
I felt the teacher's thing twitching inside me, and I felt satisfied.
After staying still for a while, the teacher remembered and pulled out.
"...Sorry, did it hurt?"
"No, it was okay. It felt good."
The teacher gave me a gentle kiss with a gentle expression.
After that, we spent time taking a shower and cuddling until about three o'clock.
