I finished work and returned to my room before 8 o'clock. I immediately changed into sweatpants, turned off the lights, and crawled into bed. I had been extremely tired lately and just wanted to sleep. However, despite being so sleepy that I couldn't keep my eyes open, I couldn't fall asleep because my mind felt strangely awake. So, I rubbed my sleepy eyes and fiddled with my phone under the covers.
That day, the first spring storm blew, and even at night, sudden strong winds were blowing. It was around 8:30. I heard the sound of the screen door outside the window sliding. Just as I thought, 'What a strong wind,' I heard the window rattle open, and the curtains made a noise.
My body froze in sudden fear, and I couldn't make a sound. I could only watch as a burglar leaned out from the balcony. It felt like slow motion.
A man, drenched from the rain, entered the room and noticed me for the first time. The burglar was momentarily surprised and tried to leave through the window again, but then he stopped, turned around, and looked at me. He stared at me intently, and the next moment, he lunged at me. I couldn't resist at all; he straddled me, taped my mouth shut, and bound my wrists with tape, attaching them to the bed.
The burglar nervously looked around the room. He rummaged through the dresser for a moment, then looked down at me again. I couldn't take my eyes off his actions. The burglar looked me up and down. I felt a deeper sense of despair. I realized that his interest had shifted from money to me.
His hand reached for my waist, and he removed my sweatpants and underwear at once. I felt the blood drain from my entire body.
He spread my legs apart and stared at me intently. In my fading consciousness, I couldn't look away from what was happening. But when I saw him bury his face, I felt like I was about to lose consciousness.
I mustered all my strength. But no matter how much I twisted my body, his tongue clung to me. When I continued to resist, he punched me in the stomach. A dull pain ran through my abdomen, and I couldn't put any strength into my legs.
I endured his actions for a while, but I felt like I might be getting wet. I felt an overwhelming sense of shame, wanting to die. It felt surreal, and at the same time, I wanted to believe it was a lie. In that state, fear, despair, and a sense of betrayal swirled in my head, making me feel dizzy. When I tried to close my eyes to escape the harsh reality, a sensation ran from my lower abdomen to my brain, directly stimulating it.
In a desperate situation, I tried to stay conscious, but he inserted his fingers while his face was still buried. He played with me as he pleased. The separate stimuli in my lower abdomen combined, making me feel like my head was being directly stirred. No matter how hard I tried to push it out of my mind, I couldn't, and when I gave up on myself, my head went numb and blank.
With my mouth taped shut, I tried to catch my breath through my nose. My upper body was exposed, and his head was there. The stimulation ran repeatedly from my lower abdomen to my chest. Confused and dazed by the unbelievable situation, I saw the burglar holding my legs and looking down at me, his figure blurred.
I clenched my teeth inside the taped mouth and closed my eyes. He pushed his way inside me. A shock ran from my lower abdomen to the top of my head, like a metal stake being driven into my body.
His actions were rough and unrefined, unlike anything I had ever experienced. The roughness was so intense that I couldn't look away from what was happening between my legs. The sensation of being gouged and stirred inside me attacked me relentlessly. At some point, he was on top of me, breathing heavily in my ear. His hand slipped under my arm and roughly handled my chest. In his firm embrace, my mind went blank again in an instant.
Even with my mind blank, the movements between my legs didn't stop. Amid the raw sounds and smells coming from my body, the light overlapped and grew brighter, making my mind go blank repeatedly.
My head felt numb, and electricity ran through my body. My body convulsed repeatedly, beyond my control. At some point, I realized I was screaming with my mouth still taped shut. In a world where the light flickered intensely, a shock and nausea ran through me as if my insides were being pushed up. At the same time, I felt something hot being poured into me. I felt it pulsating inside me as I convulsed.
Not only my head but even the corners of my eyes felt numb. When he left my body, I don't remember much, but I think he left the room without taking anything. When I came to, only the tape that had bound me to the bed was torn. In the silent room, as my consciousness gradually returned, my body began to tremble for the first time.
Trembling, I peeled the tape off my mouth and bit through the tape on my wrists. Dragging my uncooperative body, I managed to lock the door and window. When I looked at the clock, it was still around 9:30. In a daze, I stared at the wet stain on the bed sheets for a while. Unable to organize my thoughts, I took a shower. I cursed myself for taking my boyfriend's and family's warnings about locking up lightly. After getting out of the shower, I picked up my phone for the first time, but I realized I had washed away the 'evidence' and couldn't report it. Honestly, I can't clearly remember the burglar's face, except that he seemed to be in his 40s. As a result, I experienced something I had never felt before, reaching the peak multiple times... I still can't talk to anyone about it, not even him.
